I Am Powerful

For rousing in oneself a feeling of raw power and primeval energy, I have discovered there’s nothing quite like biting the head off an animal and devouring the whole thing in one sitting. Even if it is a chocolate reindeer.

As news of this feat spreads, I imagine I will be all the more feared and respected.


Filed under Autobigraphical, shorts

4 Responses to I Am Powerful

  1. JazzyBear

    I fear and respect you, timmeh.

  2. Tim

    I am glad to hear this.

    I was thinking I may have had to follow up with the tale of how I startled a pheasant with the dregs from a coffee pot, but I think that’s no longer necessary.

  3. Joe

    You startled a pheasant? Tell us more you crazy powerful little monkey man!

  4. Tim

    Well, there’s quite a story behind that. I opened the back door to fling used coffee grounds onto the garden, and I noticed that my opening the door had caused a pheasant that was in the garden to look a bit surprised and waddle off.

    Although I have now done better even than that: I startled a dinosaur last night. Really quite a big one. It was making me a bit nervous as it was sniffing around the bushes where I was hiding. I suspect it was herbivorous, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. So by giving a terrible yell, I alarmed it so much that it fell over backwards in a slightly comedic fashion. I do wonder if I may have just dreamt it.

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