Tipsy reminders are the way forward.

I am almost certainly a better person when I’m a bit tipsy. And I don’t mean that I’m more likely to be pleasant to people, give money to good causes, or put the toilet seat down. Just that I seem to be slightly better at functioning as a human being. I am more likely to assume that I won’t remember anything, so set myself electronic reminders of anything of significance I need to remember.

So far I have avoided the problem a friend of mine was telling me about where he said he could remember everything that had happened one evening, except whether a girl he asked out said yes or no. As it turns out she said no, inevitably. This brings to mind an incident I remember from my first year at uni; after getting slapped the second time I’d asked a girl her name I realized that the first time she’d actually said “Emma”. Whereas initially I thought she had said “um, er” and then changed the subject. As well as my memory, my hearing is not very good either. And I obviously tend to assume people are a bit peculiar/as easily distracted as I am.

But I digress. The other day I received several reminders I had set in my phone the night before. These included “Write about man having the world’s maddest piss” and “Put light blue trousers in the wash”. After a brief panic in which my head was filled with various terrifying scenarios that may have played out and inspired such messages the night before, I believe the two were unrelated.

The trouser incident was from a fairly minor beer spillage. Although it was a bit glass-breaky. Oops. The man having the “world’s maddest piss” was not me, nor inspired by my actions. But he was at the urinal next to me, urinating in a way I can only describe as bonkers, as I nervously monitored his activities in my peripheral vision and edged away as much as I could without having my own insane urinary mishap. If he’d been me, he’d have received an electronic reminder the next day which said “Make sure you wash your jeans, and you may want to consider binning your shoes. Try not to remember why.” Possibly also “take out advert in local paper apologising to nervous-looking man in light blue trousers”.

1 Comment

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One Response to Tipsy reminders are the way forward.

  1. Greg

    As in some Japanese movie the plot is brought forward by phone messages from their future selves, such messages from your past self can be just as entertaining. Or puzzling. Or in this case – useful…
    Like Memento without going backwards. Maybe next time you can attach some pictures to your notes like the polaroids there. On a second thought, scratch this….

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