4 year old word harvest

I am claiming this as new, even though these are extracted from a file full of semi-written things from about 4 years ago…

…the kitchen sink had been expertly jammed with so much washing up, it looked like a really bad Tetris player had gone feral in Lakeland.

…concerned that my phone’s predictive text comes up with “bomb” before “comb”. The word I wanted was not there at all; it was “boob”. I’m a lover, not a fighter.

…people who are lactose intolerant are really, really bad at being mammals. Would probably give birth to dehydrated child granules in a sachet.

….Did you hear about the Frenchman who got stuck under his sofa? He was immeubleised…

…performed a lengthy and tuneful fart, which started out sounding like Gregorian chant, but ended with a quizzical upturned note at the end, giving the overall impression of an Australian monk.

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