Author Archives: Tim
Yes, at 3:34 on Monday morning I wrote ‘Around-the-camera jazz dragon’. And I am never too sleepy to forget to hyphenate an attributive. But I digress.
No, I have absolutely no idea why either. I do very vaguely remember I was about to fall asleep again and it was Very Important To Remember This. And so here it is!
Courtesy of good old OmniFocus.
I am claiming this as new, even though these are extracted from a file full of semi-written things from about 4 years ago…
…the kitchen sink had been expertly jammed with so much washing up, it looked like a really bad Tetris player had gone feral in Lakeland.
…concerned that my phone’s predictive text comes up with “bomb” before “comb”. The word I wanted was not there at all; it was “boob”. I’m a lover, not a fighter.
…people who are lactose intolerant are really, really bad at being mammals. Would probably give birth to dehydrated child granules in a sachet.
….Did you hear about the Frenchman who got stuck under his sofa? He was immeubleised…
…performed a lengthy and tuneful fart, which started out sounding like Gregorian chant, but ended with a quizzical upturned note at the end, giving the overall impression of an Australian monk.
Grunt. By which of course I mean, “Ah, there you are! Ah! Wonderful! I shall write something!”
That’s enough niceties. To be honest with you, it almost seems as though I’m just typing words with no plan, scheme, plan of action, idea, master plan, game plan, proposal, proposition, ploy…[*] (Weak word-based humour – check!)
Now – we need something here… (Seinfeld reference in place – check!)
Alas instead of writing any more I am going to have to do a sleep. (Poor excuse instead of any actual writing – check!)
But this counts, right? Three days in a row? I say yes.
[*]Reference works from other publishers are technically available, but, you know, probably best avoided. Would you believe I haven’t read Advertising: A Very Short Introduction?
Boom. New post. New upgraded WordPress that my host won’t keep telling me it can’t upgrade automatically and is full of infection and bad.
And I should go to bed soon.
Edit: no, really I should go to bed. But I spotted some quotes had gone maniacal in the transition and needed fixing. And I have no idea if the RSS feed is working. But should probably move away from FeedBurner before Google finally kill it. And, and and.
[*] as the youngsters say, I understand.
Step 1: Remember you have more coffee waiting.
Step 2: Get up from computer, pick up cup, walk to kitchen.
Step 3: In kitchen, put cup by sink ready to be washed.
Step 4: Turning to leave kitchen, see cafetiere.
Step 5: Remember you wanted more coffee, pick up cafetiere, walk back to computer to refill cup.
Step 6: Wonder where cup is.
Step 7: etc.
Also, one of the lenses fell out of my increasingly battered spectacles yesterday, so I need to purchase a monocle to wear along with said damaged glasses, because keeping one eye closed while trying to concentrate on anything is quite tricky.
Although increasing text size on screen and leaning waaaay back seems to do the trick, though is quite inconvenient.
OR I could accelerate plans to purchase a new zoom lens for my camera and look through that at an appropriate focal length. Although it probably won’t help. I haven’t really thought this through – it’s early and I may or may not have had enough coffee. And anyway, if I buy this lens, people will probably make assumptions.
SO – Channel 4 broke/removed their “Twist Our Words” thing or whatever it was called.
To summarize, the four most important words in the English Language are:
I like cake.