Snow is an idiot. And I don’t mean the popular Informer performer. I don’t have enough time to describe those levels of idiocy. I mean of course the frozen precipitation that is currently so popular around these parts, and filling every news outlet, and becoming increasingly tedious. And if it means I can’t get away at the weekend, I shall be most peeved. It’s now irritated me even more by making me feel compelled to prefix the proper content of this post, below. [GB]rrrrrr! (As cold angry people who know regular expressions say).
In the shower yesterday morning my inner monologue was treating me to a slightly haphazard medley of its own devising, consisting of various hits by The Jacksons. Unfortunately, my mind only knows two hits by The Jacksons, and not many of the words. Only really the two tracks on the rather awesome Motown 50 compilation celebrating 50 years of the label. (Want 60 top Motown hits? Buy Motown 50 MP3s/CDs from amazon.co.uk!!!) Ahem. Er. Yes. These tracks being ABC and I Want You Back. Mysteriousy at work in the afternoon my iPhone mobile telephone twice unpaused itself and started playing ABC – when all the tracks are arranged alphabetically, ABC is the first track in it, innit.
Still, at least I didn’t wake up to find a hairbrush in my shoe.
I wish the world worked correctly, in a way in which my mind would be more comfortable. Then I would have been able to use one of the numerous dusty dead woodlice I found as a substitute for the lost grub screw. Stupid lack of wordplay-based surrealism in the so-called ‘real’ world.
I don’t really go into details, but the upshot is that the [until very recently] perfectly usable ballpoint pen I purchased myself not four weeks ago is now in the bin. The one by the toilet.
UPDATE, a few short minutes later. I’m so traumatized, I forgot to help myself to FREE CAKE. Cake!
I awoke at 7:30 with:
- a slight headache
- a vague recollection of a slightly disturbing dream
- a BadSong [sic] stuck in my head
The slight headache: I suspect is caused by a combination of mild hangover and caffeine withdrawal, and it is is still here, two and a half hours later. For the moment, I’m sticking with the decaff PG Tips. Ouch.
The slightly disturbing dream: I was at a dinner party of some kind and, immediately after one of the other diners (none of whom I recognized) had said something, I made a hilarious pun on one of the things just said. This bon mot was met with a stony silence, and even after I carefully explained it to the people, there was nary a titter. Simpletons.
The BadSong [sic, and showing no signs of improvement]: As well as the headache and the hideous nightmare, I also woke with Jason Donovan stuck in my head. By which I don’t mean physically embedded in my cranium, although that would have resulted in a swift and merciful death compared to what actually happened. No no, I had Too Many Broken Hearts stuck there. And it is still stuck there.
One is not amused.
Iâ€™ve just applied to increase the speed of my broadband connection with BT, and was wondering how much bandwidth I actually used in a month to see if I could downgrade to a cheaper package, one with less monthly download allowance.
In trying to find out how much I currently used, I came across this on their site:
Will I still be able to monitor how much I use?
No, under our new approach weâ€™ll monitor how much you use for you, so you don’t have to worry about it. If you stay within the usage guideline for your product, or only ever exceed it by a small amount then there’s no need to worry about how much you are using.
That’s like going to a garage for your carâ€™s regular service and when you ask them what they did on the car they just say â€œDonâ€™t you worry about that, if itâ€™s work costing more than you usually pay, weâ€™ll bill you for the extra.â€
Great, thanks for looking out for me like that.