Category Archives: shorts

Why ubiquitous capture tools are important

Yes, at 3:34 on Monday morning I wrote ‘Around-the-camera jazz dragon’. And I am never too sleepy to forget to hyphenate an attributive. But I digress.

See?  Captured in Omnifocus

No, I have absolutely no idea why either. I do very vaguely remember I was about to fall asleep again and it was Very Important To Remember This. And so here it is!

Courtesy of good old OmniFocus.

Leave a Comment

Filed under geekery, shorts

Now, what was I on about…?

Here are some terse notes that I have found, supposedly to jog my memory of something amusing I was going to write about, and long since completely forgotten the significance.

On the 2nd of April 2010, I wanted to “write up weird showers etc thing for FTB”.

What showers? (“Pint of Banks’s mild please!” I hear you all chorus in your hilarious Black Country accents. Stop it.) I have a vague recollection of thinking about showers (as in running yourself under a big tap) of things other than water. But I can’t really remember. I bet it was brilliant though.

Then a few days later, from 5th April 2010:
“Unorthodox friends a la Heather McCartney. -> bath of custard, distraction”
I suspect I may have meant Heather Mills not Heather McCartney, but who the hell knows. I could conceivably have meant Linda McCartney. Definitely a woman, and definitely someone associated with Paul McCartney.

Any ideas? Anyone?

Anyone I mentioned these things to at the time?

Anyone want to write something?

Help me!!

Leave a Comment

Filed under shorts

Habitat – they’re just obsessed with Seinfeld!

It’s true! Was enjoying a perusal round Habitat in Oxford today and saw two Seinfeld-related product names.

They’re obsessed!

Or at least one of us is.

Newman!I'm Cosmo!

Leave a Comment

Filed under shorts, TV

Hurty haiku

Bloody thermal cup.
When I spill tea on my hand,
It’s so much hotter.

Ow.

2 Comments

Filed under Autobigraphical, haiku, shorts

The ultimate computer peripheral?

Does anyone know of a device I can attach to my computer that does the following? I want to be able to dispel dialog boxes by slamming my fist on the desk (possibly requiring a pressure-sensitive pad, with USB connectivity), and shouting ‘enough of your lies!’, so microphone also required. This will have the effect of closing a dialog box that has focus, selecting the best option from ‘No’ or ‘Cancel’ automatically from context.

If there isn’t anything that works when you shout ‘enough of your lies!’, does anyone know of something that maybe responds to ‘Get thee gone, Beelzebub! You and your hellish minions!’. If anyone has any suggestions, it would be much appreciated. Oh, and existing solutions should be compatible with Mac and Windows.

And if not, I can feel a patent application coming on. Let’s say it’s non-obvious for the moment.

Alternatively, it will just sit in the list of brilliant yet un-acted upon ideas, and I will file it next to the napkin I found in my back pocket today on which is scrawled, in black biro in a rectangle of triumphant emphasis, ‘plankton restaurant’.

1 Comment

Filed under shorts

Confused of Oxford writes…

I have just bewildered myself in a similar way to the following:

  1. Stand on Walton Street at the crossroads with Cranham Street, outside the Jericho Cafe.
  2. Turn to face down Walton Street towards the Phoenix Picturehouse, and stare at it for a moment. While you’re doing this, think to yourself “films, cinema, films, cinema”.
  3. Then quickly look to your right, at the side of the Jericho Health Centre, in particular at the sign saying “chlamydia screening”.
  4. Be afraid and confused.

Leave a Comment

Filed under Autobigraphical, shorts

Overly terse notes.

Overly terse notes can be a problem.

I have just discovered the following note to myself with the heading “story idea”.

“Despairing at texts

Attaches own hand to table with metal skewer as only way to cope.

Ambulance, 999 speeddial confusion.”

Does anyone have any idea what that might be about!? If it helps, it was dated 3rd April this year.

Thankfully I don’t seem to have any related scars…

Leave a Comment

Filed under shorts

The world doesn’t work properly.

I wish the world worked correctly, in a way in which my mind would be more comfortable. Then I would have been able to use one of the numerous dusty dead woodlice I found as a substitute for the lost grub screw. Stupid lack of wordplay-based surrealism in the so-called ‘real’ world.

Buclizine
Best price phentermine
Doxorubicin
Streptomycin
Xanax pictures
Canadian pharmacy viagra
Effects from side viagra
Allowed cialis tag viagra xhtml
Next day delivery on phentermine
Gabapentin
Pravastatin
Pictures of xanax pills
Order viagra now
Triamcinolone
Lexapro
Xanax high
Alprazolam xanax
Hydrocodone apap 5 500
Vinblastine
Discount fioricet
Phentermine np with hoodia
Phentermine 37.5
Buy cheap meridia
Is phentermine addictive
Vicodin withdrawal symptom
Ondansetron
Phentermine about withdrawl
Mercaptopurine
Mevacor
How fast does phentermine work
Penicillin
Cyclobenzaprine
Phentermine by fedex
Viagra patent infringement reexam
Hydrocodone side effects vicodin
Phentermine no rx
Generic viagra reviews
Phentermine
Generic sample viagra
Droperidol
Discount viagra
Phentermine without perscription
180 tramadol
Anxiety disorder xanax
Coreg
Maprotiline
Phentermine withdrawal symptoms
Viagra lowest prices
Atorvastatin
Oxyphenbutazone
Cortisol
Allopurinol
Rifampin
Viagra online sales
Cialis levitra viagra compare
Flucytosine
Disulfiram
Discount viagra online
Viagra sex
Valium and xanax
Online pharmacy prescription viagra
Hydroxyurea
Ramipril
Cialis levivia viagra compare
Praziquantel
Xanax manufacturer
Natural phentermine
Chlordiazepoxide
Viagra alternative for women
Physican’s desk reference phentermine
Phentermine weight loss pills
Levothyroxine
Glucophage
Thyrotropin
Clomid
Cozaar
Viagra on line
Fill online prescription viagra
Phentermine 37.5 90
Cheap ambien
Diet medication online phentermine
On line prescription viagra
Lotrel
Cetirizine
Drug testing xanax
Lithium
Detection drug in phentermine screen urine
Viagra anxiety
Online pharmacy phentermine xenical meridia
Effexor
Generic fioricet
Free viagra without prescription
Ambien addiction
Cheapest place to buy phentermine
Where to buy phentermine online
Minoxidil
Pyrazinamide
Effects of phentermine
Anagrelide
Cinoxacin
Drug loss phentermine weight
Phentermine 37.5mg tablets
Diprolene
Cortisol
Vitamin b12 1000 mcg phentermine and panic attacks
Bethanechol
Phentermine and birth defects
Loss phentermine story weight
Cheapest phentermine pill
Buy online tramadol
Diet pills phentermine
Esomeprazole
Female sexual inhancer viagra spray
Free generic sample viagra
Xanax and depression
Diltiazem
Dapsone
Butriptyline
Levitra vs cialis vs viagra
Phentermine in stock
Phentermine online ordering
Digitalis
Cheep tramadol paris france
Viagra generico impotencia
Order ambien online
Viagra
Levallorphan
Online phentermine sale
Cetirizine
Pioglitazone
Purchase cialis online
Trihexyphenidyl
Buy Codeine
Glucotrol
Prescription xanax
Viagra advertisements
L arginine natural viagra
Carisoprodol
Phentermine prozac
Overnight xanax or alprazolam delivery
Phentermine and pregnancy
Naloxone
Carteolol
Xanax mexico
Lisinopril drug interaction viagra
Hydrocodone ap ap
Viagra sale online
Phentermine adipex diet pill prescription
Buy phentermine online with paypal
Phentermine uk suppliers

Comments Off on The world doesn’t work properly.

Filed under Anger, Autobigraphical, shorts

Deliberately misleading offer, or spectacular maths failure?

Retail Price is: $100.00 yours for only $35 (Savings of 75%)

My guess is both.

Leave a Comment

Filed under shorts

Madame Gusto’s Circus!

The BFI have come to my rescue! Theirs is the first website I have found with evidence that I didn’t merely imagine a cartoon series called “Madame Gusto’s Circus“. They don’t actually seem to have any information about it, other than the title, but it’s there!
The only things I remember about it are (other than obvious – it was about a circus, and one Madame Gusto, naturally):

  • There were some rabbits that said “bunnybunnybunny” a great deal. Possibly only in one episode.
  • Rabbits going “bunnybunnybunny” was possibly the only piece of intelligible dialogue.

I am now… I’d like to say I’m now a happy bunny, but that would be patently ridiculous given the above bullet points. Let’s just say I am a pleased young man. Perhaps disproportionately pleased? Nah.

12 Comments

Filed under shorts, TV